Retail holiday daily job in a nutshell
Customer opens door and enters the Grapevine.
Customer:"Wow it smells so good in here." "I would like to buy a bottle of wine for a gift,"
Me: "Sounds great, would you like a white or red"
Customer: "I don't know" "oh how cute, what is his name"
Me: "Marley"
Customer: "oh how cute, he is sooooo sweet"
Me: "ya he is a really good dog I adopted him" "how much would you like to spend"
Customer: "I don't know"
Me: "let me show you (insert wines here in various price ranges)"
Customer: "hmmmm. I just don't know"
Me: " I would buy this one if I were you because of the spicy notes topped with a hint of black cherries and nutmeg." "It is very popular and many people like it. It is also a ten dollar bottle so punches well above its weight and is a great buy"
if you would take the wine "me" said she would buy go to ($) if you would not go to (#)
$: Customer: "that sounds great, I'll take it" "Thank you.. Merry Christmas"
#: Customer: "hmm I just really don't know if they would like that"
Me: "well do they like sweet wines"
Customer: "I just don't know what they like.. what do most people like"
Me: "it varies dramatically. do you know for sure if they drink wine on a regular basis"
Customer: "well I think so, but I am just not sure"
Me: envisioning customers head exploding like on "scanners" places mildly sweet slightly sparkling very very popular wine in customers hand saying simply "they will like this" then little white lies to "everyone likes this"
Customer: "hmmm. you sure"
me: "oh yes. everyone likes this"
Customer: "man I just don't know"
Me: "this is what you want"
Customer: "okay, if you think they will like it"
start over with next customer.
Rules, curtesies, and experiences:
Don't ask if I could throw something away for you, have me hold out my hand innocently assuming it is paper and put your gum in my hand.
Seriously Doctor, you are going to return one of two $1.29 beers you bought because you didn't like the first one. Don't you have any friends to give that one beer to.
No we don't sell cigarettes, you have to go to a state liquor store for rum, here are the directions.
Yes its a platypus, No I don't want to see your.. wow your right, your bum crack does form a good replica of the grand canyon with your tattoo.
I really don't know if you are going to like that beer, but it is only a $1 and there is really only one way to find out if you do like it. This really can't be the hardest decision of your life.
No the dog is not for sale. No you can't take him home. I don't care if you told your 3 year old you could.
Please the yapping chihuahua in the fuzzy pink sweater.. come on! Oh right your a browser and will be in here for at least half hour.
yup its a store full of glass, please keep your child from running.
Utah.. I know you are deprived, but open your mind beyond fat tire and moosedrool. There is a world of beers out there. Yes and that one is really 14% alcohol. It is from Belgium.
Yes brewing is new to me too. but sometimes you have to jump in and be prepared to have a bad batch.. you live you learn It is ok. no I am not going to refund your ingrediants because the batch is bad.
so you are saying the exact same wine you had at your house during dinner was not as good as when you were watching the sunset over the mediteranian while mermaids danced in the distance. Maybe it was the experience that helped. no I am not refunding the empty bottle because you didn't think it tasted as good.
But there are good things too, Lets end on a fun story:
One of my co-workers has an eye patch and a beard, Bob.
I was helping a man with a 4 year old son pick out some wine.
The son goes around the corner where bob was standing..
The kids comes back wide eyed to his dad and interrupts us saying quietly "daddy daddy, I just saw a pirate"
Bob hears the kid and comes around the corner and in a piratey voice says "yarr I be a pirate, you want to join me crew"
The kid points to his eye and says "but I don't have a pirate eye"
